I’ve seen a couple of these Tory adverts up around here: the immigration one, and the clean hospitals one. At the bottom, they say "Are you thinking what we’re thinking?" On both the posters I’ve seen, some civic minded vandal has graffiti’d "NO" after.

The first time I saw one, the "NO" was already there, so I wondered if it was actually a Labour attack advert - after all, the phrases are pretty stupid. One actually says "I mean, how hard is it to keep a hospital clean?" Well, er… a hospital is where sick people go when they have diseases, viruses and infections! It’s where people vomit and soil themselves on a daily basis. A hospital might have thousands of visitors, patients, doctors and staff going in and out every day. In fact, a hospital is probably harder to keep clean than the sewage system of an adrift cruiseship full of seasick diarrhea victims who have whittled their larder down to the last 25 tons of curry powder and rancid beef. You can’t just flood the place down with disinfectant every day, you can’t expect each patient to be totally isolated and operated on by doctors in hazmat suits, and you can’t even open the airlocks and blast the Ill Humours into hard vacuum.

So it makes you wonder exactly how dimwitted the Conservatives think their average voter is. I demand limits on the number of people named Michael Howard who are allowed into our country.

"I mean, how hard can it be to run a political party without being an ignorant reactionary little shit?"

Postscript

Having said that, I’ll probably vote for them anyway, given the nature of the incumbents.