In a shop called Loja Chinesa (”Chinese Shop”), an outlet of all things cheap, plastic and Chinese, I found this:

The non-qwerty keyboard layout is understandable, but the number row reading 123456712? They use Hindu-Arabic numerals even in China, don’t they? I can’t remember what the sticker on the bottom right read, but it wasn’t “Microsoft” or “Windows”. However, there is significant innovation here: no less than four hardware buttons dedicated to smileys!

The fake Intel Inside sticker is dainty:

Check out the screen (click for a closeup):

Yes, it’s just glued on, and it’s not even a real screenshot. I like “interner explorer”, and the sheer ballsiness of “PREEMINENT ORIGINAL”.

Finally, the whole hunk of junk had the kind of costus minimus squeak a real laptop engineer couldn’t dream of building: