6 undersea fibre-optic cables have been cut in the last two weeks, and conspiracy theories abound. Is this the smoking gun that proves there is evil afoot?:

Wikipedia’s map is better, but its data sets off the same alarm bells:

Assuming the dates and locations are accurate, this can’t have been caused by any natural phenomenon, unless it’s some sci-fi bizarro hitherto unknown interaction between the Earth’s magnetic field and erbium-doped optical fibre. Technical faults are rare, and impossibly unlikely to occur in 6 different places in such short succession. The “official” explanation, that a ship dragged its anchor across the cables, would imply a very fast ship - it broke cables in the Middle East and Malaysia within one day. So apparently the only remaining possibility is that the cables were cut deliberately.

Who cuts submarine cables on purpose? If stray anchors can cut a cable - and they can and do - then almost anybody could’ve done it. So are we talking al-Qaeda in a speedboat or Uncle Sam in a wiretapping sub?

The first link suggests it’s a plot to cripple Iran’s new oil stockmarket. Others suggest it’s simply to knock Iran off the net completely. But don’t we like uploading our Western Values to them? Because let’s face it, the Internet is the bastard offspring of hardcore Western Science and Industry. It’s a techno-libertarian aggressive hegemonizing swarm, and if anyone is scared of the Iranians having it, it’s the Iranians themselves. So did they do it?

Not likely.

I suspect that the current confusion is down to a lack of accurate data. I’ve yet to see an authoritative source for the exact times and locations of the cable cuts. The SEA-ME-WE-4 cable from Malaysia goes through the UAE, so has there just been a mixup about which section of the cable has been cut? It’s possible that the Khaleej News has got it wrong, and that the most likely explanation remains a dragged anchor.

But that’s no fun, so here’s my entry: the US military is trying to cause chaos and confusion in the Iranian military, hoping to cause another accidental confrontation as a pretext for full-on hostilities, in order to plunge the US back into war and boost the ratings of war president McCain.